It was inevitable that MAGA would come for “Star Trek.”
They’ve spent years fucking up “Star Wars” fandom, warring with creators and driving actors off social media with their sexist and racist attacks.
Now there’s a new bit of clickbait making the rounds, claiming, with zero evidence, that most “Star Trek” fans are Republican and the franchise needs to embrace that.
Set phasers on stupid.
I’m not linking to the article or the site because it’s another example of conservative victimization cloaked in outrage that corporate media loves so much. It’s the “I’m being censored as my voice is blasted across web sites around the world” approach that has worked so well for MAGA.
Just how moronic is this writer? Let me just quote the second paragraph where this he states with absolute certainty: “…(f)irst, you have to understand the demographics of Star Trek viewers. Trekkies are and always have been men. Women are not usually interested in science fiction, but that’s doubly true of Star Trek in particular.”
Tell me you’ve never been to a “Star Trek” convention. Tell me you haven’t left your Mom’s basement since that time in 2017 when she forgot your Funyons.
A woman – Lucille Ball to be precise – launched “Star Trek” at her studio Desilu.
A woman – Bjo Trimble – SAVED “Star Trek: TOS” from cancellation after its second season by spearheading a successful letter-writing campaign.
While some Republicans no doubt have channel-surfed across any one of the many “Trek” spinoffs, if they count themselves as fans, they’ve missed the plot.
Here are just a few reasons why Republicans cannot claim “Star Trek”:
It’s a socialist utopia: In Gene Roddenberry’s vision, humanity has conquered hunger and homelessness. There are no billionaires hoarding resources. (Sorry, Elon, no place for you on the bridge.)
It values science: “Trek” shows how mankind will use technology to create a better future. MAGA wants to do away with vaccines and universities. Their beloved leader has cut billions in medical research grants. Yeah, that’s not going to fly even at impulse speed.
Brains over brawn: Keep your “pew-pew” lasers in your holster. It’s no accident that the greatest villain of the TOS, the Klingons, became one of the Federation’s staunchest allies by the time of TNG. “Star Trek” is about diplomacy first. The crews of every “Trek” always approach alien civilizations with hands open. Yes, that curiosity can lead to some unfortunate first encounters – cough, the Borg, cough – but the Federation wouldn’t have it any other way. TNG’s Enterprise isn’t a combat vessel or a police ship – it’s one of exploration.
Minorities Matter: People of color are coded into “Star Trek’s” DNA. It’s the one thing that separates “Star Trek” from every other popular franchise. Any time one of those MAGA clods whine wondering when “Trek” went woke, the perfect clapback is: Right from its premiere in 1966.
Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) and Sulu (George Takei) were there from the beginning as command officers on the bridge. Roddenberry wanted a crew that reflected the actual world he lived in, not some Aryan wet dream. One of the most notable aspects of the 1973 animated series is how it amped up their roles. Uhura even took command of the Enterprise in one episode.
Every other spinoff has built on Roddenberry’s promise of “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination.”
DS9’s gave us a Black captain in Sisco (Avery Brooks). Kate Mulgrew made history as a captain in “Voyager.” DS9’s Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) is a metaphor for a trans person at a time when no one even acknowledged the existence of non-binary people. “Discovery” and “Picard” delivered with gay couples together exploring space. Every iteration of “Trek” has been about moving forward.
We interrupt this blog post for breaking news: The first page of script for the Republican-led “Star Trek” motion picture has leaked. Let’s check out this sure-to-be blockbuster.
SCENE: Desolate alien landscape. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock and several all-white, all-male officers materialize.
Three humanoid aliens, all male, appear over a mountain ridge.
ALIEN LEADER: Greetings, members of the Enterprise. We welcome you to –
Spock fires his phaser once, twice, three times. The aliens vanish in glittery pulses of energy.
KIRK: Spock, you killed them all even before their leader could finish his first sentence.
SPOCK: It was the only logical thing to do, captain. They were aliens, after all.
KIRK: Quite right.
Kirk whips out his phaser and shoots Mr. Spock in the shoulder.
SPOCK (gasping in pain): Captain, why? I’m one of you.
KIRK: Like hell you are, you damn, dirty halfbreed. C’mon, men, let’s show this alien what we really think of him. Set phasers to slow, painful death.
The other officers turn their phasers on Spock.
KIRK: Now that that’s taken care of, let’s head off to the alien capital and see if there are any kids we can traffic to Planet Epstein.
END SCENE, and PROBABLY THE MOVIE STUDIO
I mean, I suppose it’s possible there could be a Tribble brain surgeon out there, but I doubt it. Those little furballs just can’t stop reproducing.
Nah, MAGA’s going to need another franchise to fuck up. How about “My Pretty Pony”?
Mark Perigard 