The Tardy Movie Review: ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’

The Tardy Movie Review is an irregular feature here as The Tardy Moviegoer finds going to theaters second only to flying to be the worst way to spend time with a mob of strangers. He never goes to opening weekends, nor even second weekends, because the glare of a sea of cellphones in a darkened theater is too damn bright. Idiots ruin movies. 

Avengers
The gang’s all here: ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’

“Avengers: Age of Ultron.”

What incredible battle sequences.

What horrible story when the Avengers stopped fighting and started talking.

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The Comic Book That Ruined My Life

Love at first sight: "Justice League of America" No. 82.
Love at first sight: “Justice League of America” No. 82.

This is the one.

This is the comic book that ruined my life.

“Justice League of America” No. 82, cover dated August 1970.

It changed who I am forever.

It wasn’t my first comic book.

It wasn’t even my first issue of DC’s premier super-team.

Now look at that cover:

Neal Adams’ gorgeous piece of artwork depicts the top members of the Justice League of America – Superman, Batman and the Flash – and their Justice Society of America counterparts.

In case you can’t tell from the visual cues, Superman exclaims in a terrific info dump: “Whatever’s crushing the Justice Society on their Earth — is doing it to us on our world!”

Come on.

How can you not be curious?

Continue reading “The Comic Book That Ruined My Life”

Thanks, I’ll Be Skipping Dessert

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While I was in Barcelona last year, I happened upon this sign advertising a cafe’s latest special. I like trying new foods, but this was a bit much, even for me. I can’t even imagine what the flavor would taste like.

Barcelona is an incredible city, filled with some of the friendliest people in Europe. If you haven’t been, go. You won’t be sorry.

What You Say to the Kids When You Bring a New Baby Home

In my extended family, we’ve been lucky enough to welcome two new baby girls.

Of course, for the older siblings, this can be a confusing time. That’s why most parents have to sit the little ones down for The Talk.

If you have younger siblings, I’m sure you remember The Talk.

I was only a wee toddler when my younger sister was born, but I remember my dear old dad giving me The Talk like it was yesterday.

“Son, your mother and I are bringing home a new baby girl, and you should know things will have to be a little different.

“We’re still your parents, and in the eyes of the law, that will never change.

“But babies require a lot of time and work, so we’re not going to have as much time for you.

“That’s probably for the best. Frankly, you’ve been a disappointment to us. You haven’t lived up to your potential.

“Your ABCs aren’t as strong as we hoped they’d be. Your coloring wanders outside the lines and lacks texture. You don’t seem to have any clear career direction.

“Frankly, you’re getting on in years, and you’re just not as cute as you used to be.

“You have to remember, love is limited. Love is finite. Love is attracted to new and shiny things.

“Don’t think of your little sister as an addition to the family. Think of her as your replacement.”